Ddlg is not for everyone but it’s ME

Ddlg or Daddy Dom/Little Girl is the d/s relationship that I fall under. Now before you freak out and report this the title doesn’t sound pleasant but it’s two consenting adults taking on roles that we feel like our inner most self is.

As I’ve stated before I do fall under the “little girl” aspect of my kink. By means of I do have actions, feelings and emotions of what I was as a little child. When I get into my little space it is my trance so to speak. I get rid of the the pain, burdens, and life of adult life and slip back into my innocent self. I color, watch cartoons I very much watched as a little girl and I’m usually very emotional in this state, I love stuffed animals, I’ll refer to them as my stuffies, dress up is a favorite of mine to just let go; but I NEVER partake in adult activities in little space. It’s my self protection bubble to cut off from the world.

So why connect as this? It’s just where I feel safe and protected. When I’m in little space my daddy dom is more custom to protecting me, holding me, cuddling and being that figure over me. So… daddy dom… really? Yes really, I call my dom Daddy. As I feel comfortable as a little he is comfortable as a daddy but not the actual parent but more as a caregiver. Caring for my needs, protection, anything he can do to ensure I am the best person that I can be for myself and for my family. I call him daddy out of respect for all he does for me. It’s our thing and many others who follow in this path. He knows my little space and what to do and not to do when I am there. The softer and more gentle side of him comes out.

But how can ddlg be in the d/s relationship? Well you don’t have to be dominant and submissive to be ddlg and same goes the other way around. I’m not always in little space but still long for that dominance, but I still call him Daddy as he still calls me little one. It’s our d/s titles for one another. It’s a mutual agreement, contract per say, that I belong to him as his submissive and we work together to please him and myself in everyday life and well, yeah you know.

In our dynamic I discuss what I want to work on, get better at but am highly struggling with. We examine them together and he comes up with tasks, rewards and punishments that he knows won’t break me but will set in deep in my head to stay better on task. Taking things away I enjoy, kneeling for periods of time, harsher spankings etc. Daddy Doms have a lot they take on when they connect with their littles. In return as their submissive/property a dom may ask for daily pictures after you’re ready for the day, ask that you keep yourself presentable and maintained or wear a color that looks good on you. It all depends on the d/s needs and desires.

Wow after reading that someone may feel like you’re entire adult life isn’t adult at all. Everyone is different and I can’t stress that enough. This is what makes me happy, my choice and my Ls that has made my living adult life more fulfilling than it’s been in the past 10 years. We are both safe and always talking and growing together to ensure we are still that good match.

The fun, huge and intriguing BDSM umbrella

     What is the first thing that comes to mind when you see those 4 letters? If you are in the LS it’s most likely excitement and will probably branch out from there.

     BDSM stands for

B- Bondage

D- Discipline/Domination

S- Submission/Sadism

M- Masochism

As said best by the Merriam-Webster dictionary: a sexual activity involving such practices as the use of physical restraints, the granting and relinquishing of control and the infliction of pain. BDSM refers to a range of sexual preferences that generally relate to enjoyment of physical control, psychological control and/or pain. It can be broken down into six overarching components: bondage and discipline, domination and submission and sadism and masochism. Bondage and disciple consists of using physical or psychologic restraints, domination and submission involve an exchange of power and control and sadism and masochism refer to taking pleasure in others’ or one’s own pain and humiliation. Those who practice BDSM may identify with one or more, in any combination, of these components.

     BDSM is the umbrella term for many other kinds to branch out from. Now you may not be into pain and discipline but are wanting a dominant to your submission and vicaversa. When I started down the path I stuck to straight BDSM before learning of all of the branches that can come from this huge, I mean very huge umbrella. It also left a lot more to the imagination. Saying BDSM your brain can go to any 4 of those words and the variations run wild.

     My umbrella branches out to DDLG (Daddy Dom and Little Girl) now some say they are DDLG but not into bondage; that is fine. Some are submissive and some are not. Again perfectly fine. Being under the umbrella doesn’t mean you have to be a submissive, or you have to be a masochist and etc. In my personal feelings if you have one partner that is “over you” that you still fall under the BDSM umbrella. Where you take it from there is all up to you and your specific dynamic. I promise I will branch out under my specific sub umbrella later ; )

     There will usually always be the top person in charge and usually with the final say “wink wink” But the joy of the LS is that not every one dynamic is the same and really no wrong way to do. When the people in it are happy, feel safe, protected, understood and communication is happening no one can say you are doing it wrong. (Unless one party is truly hurting you mentally and/or physically and it’s not what YOU are agreeing to then that’s not a 2 way street and you should be getting out of that relationship) IE. subs can hurt doms just as well as doms can hurt subs.

     Always be careful and pay attention to your body, feelings and emotions. BDSM can be a beautiful thing between all involved.

Submission was never forced

     When submission is brought up I feel like the response I always get is that someone put it into my head and I am being abused. These statements could not have been more off. When I addressed my partner about being submissive; I engaged the conversation. This was never put into my head, as I hope you have read from other posts, it has been in me for as long as I can remember.

     I did not choose this like it was some new trend. It is who I am and this makes me truly happy. As I grow and learn more and more about myself and the different things that people enjoy, I find myself more opening to hearing and learning about them even if it’s “not my kink”. I feel like I have better interaction and real conversations with people compared to just jumping into stereotyping, name calling or putting them down because I don’t see how someone could enjoy that specific topic or action.

     There are many reasons why I enjoy submission: one being that it is for sexual satisfaction. The human body and sex has been a high interest of mine. How certain things, spots and actions can make ones body and mind feel. Growing up I really thought something was wrong with me. When you see and are told that sex is sacred and well simple, I found it hard to believe.

     Aside from the sexual part of the joy of my submission I get most of my feel goods from daily LS (lifestyle) interactions. I will admit it, I am terrible at adulting. I do have two kids and you would think that them alone would be enough to put my big girl panties on. But something was still missing, something more personal. I feel my happiest when someone really applauds me, gives me those personal incentives and praise that is specifically catered to myself. I have a slight Suzi homemaker mindset, with a small twist. The feeling of getting a job/chore/task done for my dom in return is a mutual prize in pleasure. A dom that wants to be a personal caregiver, praise giver, protector, proper discipliner are the ones I connect with best. They don’t do it to feel like the man in charge- these doms I feel have the softest of hearts and deepest of passion. When connected with mine it’s really indescribable when compared to the many relationships I had before not in the LS.  A lot of the time it is not sexual; cuddling, picking out the movie for the night are great rewards that remind me that I can do this with just with a little bit of help and slight encouragement of a reward.

     When I am submitting I honestly feel like another person. I am letting go of pain, pressure from society (friends and loved ones) and my very own demons. It’s almost like a meditate state. My submission starts from the time that I wake up to the time that I go to bed. This helps with my anxiety, depression and overall personal happiness with myself day to day. I have seen myself be a better mom, friend, sibling and significant other. This is how my brain works is really the best explanation that I have. I am not hurting anyone nor is anyone hurting me.

     Every submissive is different, some want the LS 24/7, day to day in everything and some want just the bed room or set days of the week. With that every dom that is out there I believe there is a sub, and every sub out there has their dom.

Don’t be afraid – do your research

     I started this new exciting lifestyle faster than I started my lifestyle of working out. Shouldn’t my health be just as important. Well my thought, I need to be happy before I tackle that path.  I dove in with the books, articles like a deer in headlights.  I wanted to learn as much as I could .

    This was a lot easier because I like to research; I was literally going everywhere. Don’t be afraid of google because it really was my best friend. You really need to take the information with a grain of salt. There were clearly articles and postings that was a hard nope. When you see and feel yourself cringe at what you’re reading it’s time to put that back on the shelf, in a jar, turn it backwards and never look at it again. Then you have the others that you run across that excites you and makes you want to keep progressing. It’s all about listening to your own self and your body.

     Every ones dynamic in this lifestyle is different but I have seen that many do have the similarity in their base. I know that long term I was a submissive, to the right person. Many see me in my day to day life with them as the loud very dominant female. But when it come to being loved and protected I am all submissive. But with that same two sided personality I am a huge brat that likes to push buttons. This was a factor to my last relationship that made it crack and fall.

     There is a dom for every sub and a sub for every dom. He was not the dom for me as he took my bratty side very poorly. Looking back at it now I really think he was more of a sub than anything because he took so much of my brat side as dominant and he curled into his own shell and hid. Now you see where the problems started. Well that just made me mad and more defiant. It helped me learn that  just because you say you are a dominate doesn’t exactly mean you can handle every kind of sub. By all means there are so many different kinds of subs just as their are different kinds of doms. By doing all of the research and looking at my own behavior I know I was more than just a submissive.

     Wanting to be nurtured, cared for, protected. Given boundaries, discipline with a reward. I turned to my title that I wear proudly.

I am a submissive/little/brat : )

Start of something new – My BDSM story

     Being 30 years old and 2 failed engagements; I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have just as bad of a mental breakdown as physical one on me. Over the years I have always realized I was drawn to some things I couldn’t exactly explain. I’ve liked a huge range of music, styles of clothes, books; but you aren’t here to hear that backstory.

     I was young when I figured out really what sex was. Yes, I fully understood it. My imagination started to run wild even while playing with Barbie and Ken dolls. They got a little explicit for a young girl. I can say I have always been a curious person. I started masturbating at the age of 8. The excitement, finding myself so desirable even to myself was honestly the start of a self addiction; I wanted more physically and to learn more and more as I got older.

     The fantasies started around the age of 10. I am still not sure exactly where they came from but the desire to be controlled by someone much more superior than me, usually a man, was the icing on the cake. Nothing too harmful but enough that everything down my orgasms being controlled, my hands tied to the bed etc. I was playing out self BDSM scenes before I even knew what they were. Where did all of this come from? Ones imagination and curiosity can take you just about anywhere.

     During my teenage years, yes I had a sex addiction. I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend at the age of 12 and he was 13. Long for us as we started dating in 5th grade… Seriously. For almost 2 years we had sex every single morning before school. When he got his license there was never much talking. I never could get enough. It was a thrill, a high; I was a major exhibitionist in those days. The places we went just for a lay I really couldn’t see myself going to now. I cringe just a little. After we split I didn’t know what to do to fill these voids. I was the girl that bounced around from guy to guy but always kept it quiet. No one really knew the truth. Yes kids talked but I was so head strong and stood my ground they believed me over the rumors that well technically were true. Looking back at it how I never got pregnant was a blessing or catch anything.

     When these teenage boys were just learning what to do with their bodies I felt like they knew nothing. I longed for older, experienced men, the only way I could get my hands on that was porn. That’s when the porn addiction started. But not just an addiction but a study. I learned, watched and payed attention. I wanted to be pleased but also be able to serve. It was the most thrilling years of my life… Well until now.

     I was with my child’s father for years. We thought we were High School sweet hearts but after the baby’s came I knew this wasn’t me. Simple house wife with a okay sex life. I still wanted more and more and no matter how much you explain to someone who never had an urge to choke, spank or discipline you, it was my time to walk away.

     My second love lasted for 4 years, with a little bit more success he was interested in the BDSM lifestyle but one of those dominants that are always in the red flag category. Selfish, self centered and not one ounce of dominance in him. It was eating me alive and the one thing that I thought would of brought us together made us fall further apart; again I said my goodbyes and started over once again.

     No matter what many say I turned to books; Yes I found 50 Shades of Grey and I didn’t quite follow along with it but it triggered for me to dig deeper into what this lifestyle was and where I fit into it. I found it and I dove deep into it. I learned more about myself, my desires; I wasn’t alone there are more people like me and it was a breath of fresh air. There is nothing wrong with me, I have a different way of love and passion and I was finally finding happiness.

I am a submissive and proud.