Sadist and masochist are like dominants and submissive. They are a pair and it’s very difficult to have one without the other.
A sadist is a person who gets pleasures out of giving someone else pains. A masochist is a person who gets pleasure out of receiving said pain. Hence why having one without the other would be difficult. When people said pain for pleasures it could range in many different ways. Spankings, impact scenes, nipple clamps the list can go on.
For me my pain tolerance has gone up. But I don’t naturally and constantly want to feel pain all of the time. I have to be in a headspace to want it. It’s usually after I have a bad subdrop that I need to be snapped back into my kink and submission. When I get very upset I need a firmness of pain. Pain for me releases a new set of relaxation. If I’m struggling I need pain to whip me back to where I need to be.
It’s rare that I like pain during actual sex. That to me is not what I need pain for. Many need pain to orgasm and others just like the natural high it gives them, kind of my form of pain for pleasure. When I take in pain as well it makes me hit my subspace better because I know the dom on the other side is getting the pleasure he needs as a sadist. I’m getting my shit back together and he is getting his pleasure. Works perfectly.
Items I enjoy for impact:
Some get very creative with impact play, using things around your house and not specifically going to a toy store to find them. But know your limits. From time to time it’s nice to just have a test your limits scene. Safe word in tact and see how far you can go for your own pleasure.
I think this will always be up for debate but I mean if you don’t like titles then by all means… don’t use them.
When I started in the LS titles did mean something to me because it helped me understand who and what was what. Going into it and being asked or reading all this stuff and not know what at least the basics of it meant… I wouldn’t have lasted long.
Now a few years in, they are like 50/50 with me. I will say I’m a little but it’s okay if I just say yeah I am a sub. Now sometimes titles will always mean the world to someone. It’s their placement in the LS. Again 100% okay. It is all on what makes you feel comfortable.
Usually always meeting new people I think it’s nice to at least know where you fall under, even if you don’t like owning up to the titles, to be able to tell someone else. When vetting possible new people I always say I am a little so I do best with Daddy Doms. I have to add that part in because not all doms are daddy doms. I wouldn’t do well with a master because I am not a slave.
DD- Daddy dom
Md- Mommy domme
LG- little girl
LB- little boy
LO- little one
CGL- caregiver little
Ddlg- Daddy dom and little girl
Ddlb- Daddy dom and little boy
Mdlg- Mommy dome and little girl
Mdlb- Mommy dom and little boy
Abdl- Adult baby diaper lover
AB- adult baby
DL- diaper lover
There are more trust me, it’s something you can def google and as I remember more in my brain I’ll add them to the list. There is a title for just about every kink that you can think of in bdsm.
In the end be you, be safe and be consensual and respectful.
What does your kink do for you? Is it something you can accomplish by yourself? Do you act in it or like to watch?? There is so much out there that can either turn someone on physically or just be a relaxer for them. Never be ashamed of your kink. (If your kink is something that harms others without their consent please seek for assistance to help with this now troubling issue)
People hide from themself a lot when they can’t seem to understand why they like what they like. But when you find someone who loves what you like and you both can give one another that enjoyment then go for it. But then again it might be something you can give yourself.
Masochism (to a certain extent)
As I’m sitting here rattling through my head I know I am missing something lol when I think about it, it comes to an entire blank. When I am in the moment I for sure know what I want.
People have a range of things that makes them feel enjoyment and a natural high. I have come more and more into masochism, I have a limit with pain but when I need it, I need it. Feeling a flogger or warm hand on my skin takes my mind to a calming and relaxing place. It is very similar to my little or kitten space. Every space I have has a different purpose, similar to my kinks. I like one more than the other at different times.
When you get going in a kink of yours your body gets stimulated and your endorphins and natural “feel good” chemicals get released. It’s times like that my dom has to pay close attention to me as I’ve taken pretty long floggings because I kept begging for more but slightly paid for it later when the natural high wore off and I could feel the slight tingle. You get lost in the pleasure of it and have a hard time noticing when enough is enough. But that’s also when you get the aftercare that is another added bonus in the LS. Having those after moments to make sure your body and mind can mentally come down together.
That’s just one of the examples of a kink of mine. If you’re into needle/knife play, puppy play, wax and so much more it’s okay. As long as your safe, consenting with the other acting adult, have your safe words in place enjoy what makes you feel good.